Due Date

Dear Amanda,
There is so much I wanted to say to you, that I don't even know where to start this letter. When we found out we were expecting. We were so over-the-moon excited for your entrance into our lives! We couldn't feel more blessed and happy. I had so many hopes and wishes for your life that I could never put them all into words. We were so excited and we wanted nothing more than to see you and hold you and hug you.

 When I think about bringing a little girl into the world,  I was completely overcome with happiness and love. I've known you were a little girl from the start and I have loved you from the first day I knew you were growing inside of me. Thus all of these will remain a memory because you were born sleeping. You were supposed to be born by this time. May was supposed to be your time to come out.

We plan something and when something that we can't control happens we spin out of control. That's what happened to me I needed to get a grip .  I miss you so much ANAK!!! I think about you everyday along with the what if's and everything that I couldn't change. I can't even look at another newborn without bursting into tears because It makes me miss you so much.

I miss you everyday and always.. You were with us for 6 months and yet you changed our lives.

Love,
Mommy