4th Month Angelversary

I love you.... I will always miss you.....Today is your 4th month angelversary, I lit 4 candles for you and Tito Ariel even came with us when we visited you.

Losing you was the saddest day of our lives (your dad and mine) and It stil hurts so bad.  I was in so much pain and I dwelled on it for a few months. I didn't talk to  my friends who had babies and I felt like everyone has moved on except me. I started to neglect Joshwa and Adrianne because I was paralyzed with grief, with guilt,with pain which was a really bad combination. I had to get a grip and get a hold of myself. I needed to find my focus.

I started to see the positive impact you had on all of us.  God had given you to us and he had a reason for doing so.  You were a blessing to each and everyone of us and you did what you had to do without saying a word. The love you have left with us we would have never seen in a life time.  Your eyes were closed but you opened the eyes of each of us and forever changed our lives.

Amanda I love you.  I was so much looking forward to you, holding you, playing with you and being there for you.  I know you are in heaven and I know God is taking care of you.  One day we will meet again and as you did before it will be the first day of the rest of my life.  You will forever be part of my heart. Everytime I look at Tita Beth and Tito JR's photo I smile because I know you are with them.

Love You,
Mommy